Is encouragement of women who want to become single mothers by choice contributing to social problems?

Denise Sloan decided she wanted to have kids, even though she was single, so she researched the safe way to get the job done and wrote a book about it called "Knock Yourself Up--The Tell-All Guide to Becoming a Single Mom". She wrote about over 40 other single women who did the same thing:


http://www.knockyourselfup.com/Home.html





Obviously there is a market for a book like this.





I have three questions:





1- The statistics overwhelmingly indicate that children from single parent families have a higher likelihood of turning out maladjusted. 70% of felons are from single parent families. Why do some people insist it justifies single parent families if a minority of 30% of felons are from families with both parents?





2- Is this book and the approval it gets from feminists more evidence that women's attitudes that they don't need men to raise children is the main cause of single mothers?





3- Would men saying women are not needed to raise children be considered male supremacist?

Is encouragement of women who want to become single mothers by choice contributing to social problems?
63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes --U.S. D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census





85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes --Center for Disease Control





80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes --Criminal Justice and Behavior, Vol. 14, p. 403-26





71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes


--National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools





70% of juveniles in state operated institutions come from fatherless homes --U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report Sept., 1988





85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home --Fulton County Georgia jail populations %26amp; Texas Dept. of Corrections, 1992





Translated, this means that children from a fatherless home are:





* 5 times more likely to commit suicide


* 32 times more likely to run away


* 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders


* 14 times more likely to commit rape


* 9 times more likely to drop out of school


* 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances


* 9 times more likely to end up in a state operated institution


* 20 times more likely to end up in prison





"In 1988, a study of preschool children admitted to New Orleans hospitals as psychiatric patients over a 34-month period found that nearly 80 percent came from fatherless homes." Source: Jack Block, et al. "Parental Functioning and the Home Environment in Families of Divorce", Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 27 (1988)





"Children living with a never-married mother are more likely to have been treated for emotional problems." Source: L. Remez, "Children Who Don't Live with Both Parents Face Behavioral Problems," Family Planning Perspectives (January/February 1992).





Children reared by a divorced or never-married mother are less cooperative and score lower on tests of intelligence than children reared in intact families. Statistical analysis of the behavior and intelligence of these children revealed "significant detrimental effects " of living in a female-headed household. Growing up in a female-headed household remained a statistical predictor of behavior problems





***even after adjusting for differences in family income***.





Source: Greg L. Duncan, Jeanne Brooks-Gunn and Pamela Kato Klebanov, "Economic Deprivation and Early Childhood Development", Child Development 65 (1994).








Considering that many women see children as a "clump of cells", it is not amazing that they care so little for the children they allow, or even plan, to bring into a situation that is all but guaranteed to be a disaster.





It seems that nothing trumps women having "choice", even when that choice is so obviously a bad one.
Reply:I don't understand how you can post this and in the next breath demand a parental opt-out for men who accidentally impregnate a woman. It's INCONSISTENT! Report It

Reply:Equality before the law. If women have the right, by law, men have the same right. I think either parent opting out of parenthood in any way is wrong but the law must be applied equally. Sadly, it isn't. Report It

Reply:Writing a book is easy to digest .The statistics given are to sell the book.Single mom is a problem in a society.You are true enough about women's attitude but it's not always true genuine reasons are persisting for malfunctioning in a family causing divorce leading to single mom.Men cannot say women are every time their better half in up bringing of a child.After all we men and women are responsible for bringing the siblings in this world and provide a better future.
Reply:It doesn't make any sense..its simply against the nature.. although i agree if the woman adopted an orphan..
Reply:IF I agree with you on this point, then does it not also contribute to social problems to allow men to legally opt-out of parenthood in the case of unplanned pregnancy?
Reply:No more so than cloning, and impersonating another user to harass.


You are fraudulently using another users name to push your own twisted views and sick agenda.
Reply:Being pro-choice, and believing that a woman has control over her decision to remain pregnant, I would be a hypocrite if I did not also say that she has control over her reproductive abilities. That is a medical and basic rights answer.





But I am also a pragmatist, and socially, I am a little critical of the whole idea. And not for the statistical reasons you state, as I believe that if a parent (mother or father) is a good one, with the right support structure, they can raise great children. But I am interested in the financial construct of the situation. Clearly, if a woman can afford the overwhelmingly high cost of having a child, then she must have a great job. And if thats the case, what hours does she work? Who is going to be raising that child?





In my twenties, I had decided that if I wasn't married by 35, I wanted to have a child on my own. Well, 35 arrived, and I realized that I didn't have the money or the emotional ability to raise a child on my own. As much as I would have loved a child at that time, I truly felt that it would have been an irresponsible and selfish decision for me to make. Yes, I have the right to have a child biologically, but do I have the moral and responsible right to have one if I can't give them everything they need in terms of time and commitment?
Reply:So many women these days are unintentionally doing it, so why not purposely do it? It is possible to do. The children do not necessarily receive less love and attention that two-parent children. It does not necessarily mean that they have less family or anything else. WIth the divorce rate up so high I don't hink that many notice this phenomenon.
Reply:That is so wrong.





That is the second most selfish act a woman can do to harm a child. The first is abortion.





People like her indicate to me that they are unsuitable for raising a child. To them, a child is a thing first and a person second.





The entire mammal population shows that it is beneficial to have both parents rear the child. To "knock yourself up" to raise a child under one parent is totalitarianism and is nothing more than the approval of broken homes.





Its a shame that people can get away with anti-social behavior like this.
Reply:I wouldn't think so because look,if a woman waits all her lifefor her prince charming in order to become a mother we will have a long wait, because there isn't a lot of eligible men ou there who are willing to work and be faithful. Straight up! I believe that if a single woman chooses to be a mother without a man that she can take care of her child by herself, she is usually educated and has a good job. Being a mother is really important to a lot of women, but some women aren't willing to wait to see if they will meet the man in shining armor and I feel like that is okay!





To answer your first question, it kind of erases your first question. Because women that usually will choose to have a child aren't poor. Women that are poor usually get pregnant on accident, they don't plan for their children and that's why they suffer so much from it.





The second question is that not all women need a man to raise their children, and some men that are no help at all to the women that have the kids, they are just there for financial means.





The 3rd question is absurd. There are men out there who are single and they don't need a woman, and vice versa, that doesn't mean that is male or female supremacisy!





Some people can raise their children on their own!
Reply:Yes.
Reply:I think your going out on a limb here. I know many single moms and they are intelligent hard working woman. They raise good kids and have high standards and morals, which they teach their kids. Many work two jobs and still find time to join the PTA and attend all the important functions for their kids. I also know many affluent, married couples who are raising, rude, lazy and spoiled kids. Who are more likely to commit a crime to get money for drugs, and don't know what a job is. It is never all black or white. I


would never make that kind of judgement based on a book. I don't think your stats are correct and I don't know where you got them from. Some two parent households are not doing so hot either. So the problem goes much deeper than single mothers.
Reply:I would say 70% of the felons from single parent families are also male and also poor.








And about raising children, you need a strong community, not just two parents, one parent, etc. A Child ain't a pet, it is another individual.
Reply:The lack of the presence of a father for whatever reason is causing social problems.
Reply:I have always been curious as to what a single mother - who has gone out of her way to ensure that she will be a single parent tells her child as to why daddy isnt there, and why she has refused the child the posibility of of having two parents there for them.
Reply:1. This is because a boy needs a father to teach him how to become a man.





2. Yes, feminist insistence upon the irrelevance of men is what is driving the phenomenon of single motherhood.





3. Maybe we should try single-father families. They'd probably have better luck making the kids behave and consequently less criminality in adulthood.
Reply:all varies cos can be two parent fam wiv drug an drink issues two parents one could be in prison.not every single person grows up thinkin ill ave kid then be single muum.sev i know have good intentions of bein family two parents an kids but issues ie money life circumstance raaise and b4 u know ya single wiv kids.a parent dies then a single parent.not all brought on by ourselves,some men klilke the idae of kids wifey etc then reality smackes em in chops an they do linford christie woman cant.you shouldnt judge unless you know circumstances.sure if you ad poll and questioned hundred couples you wod see difrences
Reply:1.) I think you would have to control for the TYPES of single parent families that these felon-to-be children came from. Ms. Sloan sounds fairly educated, possibly from a higher socio-economic background, and possibly a bit older (and wiser) than your average Joe, etc. That's a vastly different demographic than some 17 year old left destitute by her boyfriend, or poor woman in the ghetto raising five kids on her own. Their outcomes (ie: children) might be a bit different than Ms. Sloan's. Not to mention that children from broken homes may be dealing with a lot of anger (from seeing the break up, from each of the parents, etc.) and that could also contribute to their maladjustment. This would not be a factor in Ms. Sloan's (and others like her) case.





2.) I won't pretend to know what drives any of society's trends. However, I think the fact that many marriages do dissolve these days, and a fair number of women who are left to raise the children alone do so successfully, just show that simply, a woman will do what a woman's gotta do. Perhaps there is some misrepresentation as to how HARD it is to do it alone, but the reality is, many woman ARE. The main cause: divorce, not this book or any feminist approval.





3.) Interestingly enough, this is one realm I don't think men are overwhelmingly inspired to trump. Would they be male supremicists if they claimed women to be unnecessary in child rearing? No, no more than we are women supremicists for claiming we can rear a child on our own.





The fact is, either can do it with due diligence. The trick is to make sure that you enter into this arrangement fully aware of what you are doing. But again, given today's marriage stats, perhaps every person should ask themselves this (Can I do this alone?) before ever partaking in parenthood. Stats say, you very well could be.
Reply:People will do anything to make money - this woman does not give a flip about "helping single moms."





I think anyone who is actually bringing NEW children into this world nowadays is an idiot. There are SO many poor children who are in DESPERATE need of caring moms, but instead of adopting them someone would create a whole new child to bring into this overcrowded troubled world? What sense does that make? NONE.
Reply:yes
Reply:I AM A PARENT OF A TEEN WHO IS HAPPILY MARRIED BUT WAS SINGLE AT ONE POINT AND HAVE MET SOME WOMEN WHO CHOOSE TO DO WHAT MS. DENISE SLOAN DID. HERE ARE MY THOUGHTS AS I HAVE PONDERED THINGS FROM MANY VANTAGE POINTS IN THE KALEIDESCOPE OF WHAT I SEE.





I have three questions:





1- The statistics overwhelmingly indicate that children from single parent families have a higher likelihood of turning out maladjusted. 70% of felons are from single parent families. Why do some people insist it justifies single parent families if a minority of 30% of felons are from families with both parents?--STATISTICS ARE STRANGE BECAUSE I ALWAYS WONDER WHO IT PERTAINS TO. I WORK WITH A DIVERSE CLIENTELE THAT RANGES FROM THE VERY MEEK AND HUMBLE TO THE VERY FINANCIALLY BLESSED, WHOSE CHILDREN COME FROM AND ARE LIVING THEIR EXISTENCE WITH BOTH PARENTS, MOTHER AND FATHER, MAN AND WOMAN. WHAT I SAW WAS THAT BOTH FAMILIES HAD PROBLEMS WITH THEIR KIDS AND BOTH KIDS HAD DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES THEREFORE DIFFERENT PROBLEMS TO DEAL WITH. AT THE END, IT IS THE SOLE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE PARENT, ONE, TWO, THREE OR FOUR IN THE CASE OF DIVORCES AND SUCH, TO ULTIMATELY MAKE THE LIFE OF WHOM THEY HAVE CREATED TO HAVE THE MOST INCREDIBLE JOURNEY EVER AND WHETHER OR NOT IT'S ONE OR TWO PARENTS FOR THE KIDS, RICH OR POOR, FELON OR NOT, STATISTICS OR NOT, THE FACT REMAINS THAT THE LIKELIHOOD FOR KIDS TO BECOME MALADJUSTED ADULTS IS THE SAME BECAUSE IT COMES DOWN TO THE PERSONAL EXPERIENCE OF HOW THE KIDS WERE RAISED, HOW THEY FELT, IF THEY WERE SUPPORTED AND NOT JUDGED, IF THEY WERE ACCEPTED, IF THEY WERE TAUGHT TO LOVE THEMSELVES ALONG WITH OTHERS, IF THEY BELIEVED IN DREAMS AND THEMSELVES. ONE OR TWO OR MORE PARENTS CAN MAKE OR BREAK A CHILD OR A FAMILY. IN MY LINE OF WORK, LOGIC IS DEFIED BY THE REALITY OF WHAT IS IN FRONT OF US AND IN MY JOB, I'VE SEEN MANY THINGS THAT HAVE DEFIED ANY NOTIONS OF THE NORM.





2- Is this book and the approval it gets from feminists more evidence that women's attitudes that they don't need men to raise children is the main cause of single mothers?--THE DESIRE OF A WOMAN WHO WANTS TO RAISE A CHILD WITHOUT A MAN OR A SIGNIFICANT OTHER IS BASED UPON THE PERSONAL LIFE EXPERIENCE OF A PERSON WHO WANTS TO LOVE, CREATE, AND GIVE TO A LIFE AND IS COMPLETELY ASSURED, SECURED, HAPPY, CONFIDENT AND HAS FAITH THAT THE NECESSITY OF ANOTHER PERSON TO RAISE A CHILD IS JUST THAT IF THE WOMAN IS A PERSON OF UNCOMPROMISING CONVICTIONS AND BELIEFS, WHOSE STREGNTH COMES FROM ALL THE LOVE AND HOPE THAT SHE HAS. FEMINISTS WHO ARE NOT RIGHTEOUS KNOW ALL TOO WELL THE DESIRE FOR A WOMAN TO FEEL HER FREEDOM FROM THE CHAINS OF SOCIETY'S LABELING ON WHAT IS "RIGHT" AND "WRONG" IN RAISING A CHILD OR A FAMILY. FEMINISTS UNDERSTAND AND ARE VERY AWARE OF THE FACT THAT THE NECESSITY OF ANOTHER PARTNER IN THIS VENTURE OF CARING FOR A LIVING BEING SHOULD NEVER BE OR FEEL LIKE A "NEED" BUT A "WANT" AND THAT "WANT" IS WHEN YOU WANT TO SHARE THIS MOMENT OF MOTHERDOM WITH SOMEONE ELSE, TOGETHER, TEAMWORK, JUST THE TWO OF THE PARENTS AND THE CHILD. FOR A FEMINIST TO NOT BELIEVE AND FEEL COMPLETE ADMIRATION TO WOMEN WHO WANT TO BE A SINGLE PARENT WOULD BE AN OUTRAGE. PEOPLE PAY AN AMAZING HOMAGE TO ALL THE WOMEN OUT THERE WHO ARE STRONG, MEETING UP TO LIFE'S CHALLENGES, ARE ALTRUISTIC IN THEIR ENDEAVORS, SUCCESSFUL, AWARE, HAVE HOPE AND FAITH, AND KNOW THAT IF A WONDERFUL PARTNER CAME ALONG, THEN...WELL, COOL BEANS!! IF NOT, THIS WOMAN WILL BE JUST FINE WITH HER AND THE CHILD. LIFE WILL BRING TO THOSE WHO LOVE WITH GREAT INTENT A FULFILLED LIFE, PROBABLY MORE THAN THEY HAD EXPECTED.





3- Would men saying women are not needed to raise children be considered male supremacist?--MALE SUPREMACISTS?!! THAT'S SO "THE BURNING OF MISSISSIPPI." ABSOLUTELY NOT AS THE RULES APPLY THE SAME HERE. IT'S ABOUT RESPONSIBLITY TO ANOTHER LIVING BEING, IT'S ABOUT SACRIFICE, TRUTH IN ACCEPTING, LETTING GO OF NOTIONS WHILE LOVING OTHER BEINGS AND FEELING COMPASSION FOR THE LIFE THAT THEY ARE BRINGING UP. MANY MEN WHO ARE COUPLES ARE RAISING CHILDREN ON THEIR OWN WITHOUT A WOMAN IN THE HOUSE. IN LOVE, THERE IS NOT GENDER, RACE, AGE, RULE OF THUMB BY WHICH SOCIETY LABELS THE PEOPLE WHO WILL TAKE GREAT CARE OF A BEING THAT THEY LOVE. BLOOD IS JUST DNA. SO THEN WHY IS A WOMAN RAISING A CHILD ON HER OWN SO BAD OR A MAN RAISING LITTLE ONES ON THEIR OWN SO "SUPREMACIST" IF THE POWER OF LOVE AND CARE ARE PRESENT?





WHAT'S MOST INTERESTING IS THAT BASICALLY, AT THE END, IT'S ALL OVER THE NEWS, CELEBRITY TABLOIDAL MAGS AND THE TELLY, ALL OVER THE CNN AND ALL THOSE HIGHLY REVERED CHANNELS BY WHICH WE FIND OUT ABOUT THE ATROCITIES OF MAN AND WHAT WE FIND IS THAT THERE ARE KIDS BEING RESCUED FROM SOME HOME WHERE THE PARENTS WERE MAKING METH IN THE SAME AREAS THAT THE KIDS WERE EATING. WE'VE SEEN OR READ MANY TIMES HOW A VERY WEALTHY, HONORABLE COP AND HIS WIFE IN A VERY AFFLUENT BACKGROUND HAS A SON IN COLLEGE WHO RAPES WOMEN AND IS A JUNKIE, OR PERHAPS THE STORY OF THE ONE PARENT IN THE HOME THAT ACCIDENTLY KEPT HER CIGARETTE BURNING SO HER HOME BURNT DOWN ALONG WITH HER CHILDREN...OR MAYBE PERHAPS THE TWO DADS COULD NO LONGER CARE FOR THEIR CHILD SO THE CHILD WENT UP FOR ADOPTION...AGAIN. HOWEVER, WE ALSO SEE PEOPLE, EVERYDAY PEOPLE, IF YOU TRAVEL AND SEE BITS OF THE WORLD, THAT REGARDLESS OF CIRCUMSTANCE, ONE PARENT, TWO PARENTS, MAYBE THREE OR FOUR, IT ALL COMES DOWN TO CIRCUMSTANCES, THE PARENT THEMSELVES MEN OR WOMAN, SEPERATELY OR TOGETHER, TO RESPECT, LOVE, DEFEND, PROTECT, AND CARE FOR A PERSON THAT HAS COME INTO THIS WORLD. AT THE END, WITH EACH LIES HIS OWN. MAY ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE WORLD BE LOVED, BY ONE PARENT OR TEN, ALL WOMEN AND MEN.
Reply:Hello Clone.


I am now reporting you.
Reply:The cause is not single motherhood but poverty. Women who want to become single mothers on purpose probably have the financial means to do so.





And no. Feminism is not the reason for single motherhood. A lack of knowledge and use of birth control causes single motherhood.





I don't think that women are always needed to raise children either. A good man with the time and resources to raise a child could do just as good a job.