A friend of mine is a single mother of two. One child is in 1st grade full time and the other child is a little over a year old. She is struggling to make ends meet. If she misses one more day of work she will be fired. She works full time and even with doctors notes from the kids doctors they put her on probation for missing work. It seems that employers these days are not very 'family' friendly nor are the "single mother' friendly. What do you guys do. I want to help her out and right now i am watching her oldest son after school but i cant do it all the time. I am three boys of my own and were involved in extra curricular activities and such. Please offer any suggestions. Thanks!
Single moms... How do you do it?
I must say I really respect you for helping out your friend that is great! Now days it is hard to find somewhere to work that is family friendly unfortunatly. Even though you are helping her out (which is great) you do have your own family to think about first and if it is too much for you to take on you need to let her know. If she really cares about you as a friend (as you obviously care about her) she should understand. Maybe she should be looking for a different job that hopefully is more leanient towards people w/ children. Good luck!
Reply:It is hard. I am a single mother of 1. He's 9 months old. I am fortunate enough, that I have a few very good friends that are able to watch my son for me.. I would maybe help her set her son up in the same extra curricular activities as your children. You sounds like an awesome helpful person. I would also suggest you and her researching your state's FMELA (Family Medical Emergency Leave Act) or FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act). Here in the state of Oregon they cant put you on probation if you miss work because of a sick child with a doctor's note. Many daycares and other supervision facilities will refuse to care for a child who is sick. If they do fire her because her child is ill, with a doctors note, then she might have the right to sue the company. Only thing I can also suggest is that many states also provide money to pay for a portion of the daycare fees for low income single mothers that are working... Take her to her local Human Services office (where you can get foodstamps,welfare) and discuss with the social workers if she qualifies for state ran/state pay daycare services.. Hope that helps! I forgot to add.. Look on www.craigslist.com in your local area. There are tons of single mothers that look for child care swaping.. Like they'll watch your children during the day if you work, and you watch theirs at night when they work, etc etc.. www.cafemom.com is another helpful site! Good luck!
Reply:IT sounds like the best thing she can do is get a very reliable person for child care and sign a document allowing this person to authorize care for her kids in the event that they have to go to the doctor. That's really all she can do to save her job.
Reply:Well I am a single mommy to a severely disabled child so my answer might be a little different, but I do know what it is like to work and have to be out a lot with doctors appointments and hospitalizations. My best advice to your friend would be to try to get employed at a more family based place where someone on the management board is a single mom. My boss is a single mom of 2 so she totally understands when I have to be out with my Jack Jack. Plus it is also helpful to work at a small business because they tend to be more personal with their employees. My son comes into my office often if his nurse calls out, so everyone here knows him and knows my situation. You are a great friend for helping her with her oldest boy, but you have to be careful not to burn out as well. Let her know that the YMCA does afterschool programs for very small cost. They will even transport children from school to their programs sometimes. I know someone whose oldest goes to the Y every single day after school for basketball and swimming. What state are you in by the way? Sometimes that makes a difference on what is offered to single moms. Laws may be different on what her employer may be able to get away with and what they can't. I know your freind doesn't want to get fired from her job, but maybe she needs to find somewhere more understanding to work. I hope this helps in some way.
Reply:My heart goes out to her..I only have a three year old little boy. But luckily my job adjust to my schedule I do real estate. Maybe she should seriously consider looking for a job that is able to adapt to her lifestyle a bit more. Im sure it will be hard at first but in the end it could really help things, I mean i don't know what she does for a living but just an opinion...good luck
Reply:As a single mom, the following would help:
Enlist as many friends and family as possible to be her support system. Write down their names and numbers, call them and ask them if they'd be willing to volunteer their time and resources to help her out.
Check with local churches to see if they offer any daycare programs that help single parents.
Also check with the local social services branch to see what kind of daycare assistance they offer.
Unfortunately, lots of employers could care less if a mom has to take extra time off due to their kids being sick and it's really sad. She just needs to keep her resume updated in case this employer lets her go, so she can quickly find new employment! (Hopefully with a more understanding company!)
Also, she may have to look into sending her child to school sick (as long as he's not throwing up or have diarrhea, it won't kill him to go to school).
Reply:She could be looking for another job where they are more flexible (usually smaller companies) with working hours (they do exist! I am in one right now), also have her ask the school if the city or the school district that she lives on has a program for childcare for working parents or parents that are going to school? Its tuff! at the beginning but let her know that she will overcome this and it will be much better within time.
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