Single mother confused?

I'm a single mom with 2 kids, I'm finding it very hard to met a guy who just doesn't want a one night stand or who isn't a player, is there any good guys out there who isn't afraid of a single mom. If you a man %26amp; going to reply back to this stop %26amp; really think before answer this we are no different than those women out who hasn't been married or those ones who don't have kids, why do you men freak out when you hear their's kids involved, %26amp; I hate it when a man tells a friend he's just not ready for a ready made family, that family when their before he was.

Single mother confused?
There are good guys out there if you keep looking, it's just that too often you find the bad ones. Don't give up though!
Reply:One of my friends had 4 children from 2 previous marriages. She finally found Mr. Right for her. Now she has 5 Kids! Still with him too. Been 10 years. So do not settle for less. Report It

Reply:you get a bad rap, I would have no problems with a single mom but I'm an old married guy, many of the 30/40 something guys I work with will not go out with a single mom.
Reply:keep looking and youll find one like my mom did
Reply:I pray that you understand that true love is not found in a man. True love is only found in Jesus Christ. Please trust him and I'm telling you the man he has for you is just waiting for you, and I know he is all hat you desire. So seek Jesus and I PROMISE you , you will not be disappointed.





A mans love waivers like the wind


But our Lord Jesus is forgiving towards any sin


God Bless.
Reply:sounds like your looking at boys not men.
Reply:im a single mom of 3 kids it took me a long time to find mr right keep searching around go ahead and just be friends at first if u mention about your children dont ask if he wants to be involved its his decision just take everything real slow if he likes you that much he'll ask you out and go on the next step... just keep searching for the right one and make sure hes right for your children! make sure you find out what he wants in a relationship too does he have children does he want to date someone else with children etc hope everything works out and something comes near!
Reply:Guys that do that think there still in grade school, and do not want someone else responsiblities, I have 3 children and 31, and I finally found someone who loves me and my children, I would not date anyone who did not respect me or my children I am a package and I do not care, but we all deserve to be loved and cared for, but just be carefull when you do find someone who does not care if you have kids and will enjoy time with you and the children, sometimes there looking for that mother figure as well, but this one is easy the guys or should I say boys refuse to grow up, and do not want some other guys/mans kids in there life, this is an ongoing issue before I was born even my mother was born, sometimes I think why couldn't it be like in the old days guy gets girl pregnant marries her and supports the family, but it is now the 2000 yr and guys no longer want responsiblity they want to be that little boy for life, mind u not all guys are like that, just keep looking and remember do not settle for a guy that wants another mother in his life, but one that loves you and your family there are still a few guys out there like that, not many. Good Luck!
Reply:Relax and lower your guard a bit, you are like any other person who need a date not just for the sake of sex but due to the need for good company, for someone to share your feelings with, and to generally feel good being cared about. And just stop being aggressive. You might be scaring away many by doing that. Let things happen on their own.
Reply:brutal honesty.





1. If someone isnt ready to "settle down" then forget it. being with someone who has kids is like being married in a way. Many men dont want to just BAM be in a relatioship that resembles marriage.


2. Men dont want to get all close to children knowing that because you arent married there is a chance they could hurt the children by breaking up with you.


3. They are single and dont have kids. Being with someone with kids makes a man feel suddenly tied down and obligated to provide love and care for all of you even though the kids arent his, which can be awkward.


4. and for the last main reason. They dont want kids getting in the way of the relationship and they know that they no doubt will, which is an instant problem before you even get started.
Reply:Yes, they are out there. I began dating my husband when my daughter was three months old, and from the beginning, she came on all of our dates, she was included in everything. Anything less I wouldn't have tolerated. Trust me, they are there. :)
Reply:Well, You hit home. I am a single mother also. I only have one child though. Its hard to find a good guy without kids even harder with kids. All the guys I end up meeting say they want to meet my child and be a family. That all ends up being bull****...
Reply:I am sorry baby..thier are some good men out there...but it takes a very good man to accept another man's children in his life..some men see a single mom as a easy piece..just take it slow baby..dont rush into sex right away ..and make sure its seriuos before you bring hime around the kids..because they a need a mans love also..they get attached ..then you break up...and it hurts them also baby
Reply:They are out there, they are just harder to find. When I was single I met several single moms that I saw the potential for a long term relationship with. The fact they had kids did not scare me away. In fact to some degree I had more respect for them and the fact that they managed so well to have such great lives and were able to provide for their kids. I think you just have to continue looking and be picky till you find the right guy who will respect the fact you have kids and your only interested in a very real relationship.
Reply:It took me about 6 months to finally introduce my child to my current husband. Until I didn't know that the relationship was going to be serious I didn't expose my child to him.


My advice to you is: Be prepared to be independent financially and emotionally. Make that person aware that your children come first and that they are your priority in life. If a man can't accept, then he is not good for you and you are better off without him. You don't want to expose your children to someone that can change and become a nightmare for you and and them.
Reply:what i see going on here is that you are looking at boy's... take a long look at what you realy want a man to be, then look at the guy's that you've been looking at... they arn't the same...





now, go back to what you want from a man, and find him...





on a side note, many men (that i know) don't want to be with a woman that has a(any) kids because they don't feel that their ready to be a father to kids that age... they want to start from a baby... so they learn as they go...





personaly, i'd rather skip the baby part... no dipers, less being woken up in the middle of the night...





but in that case, you also skip the part where there is no kids at all... taking each other in all area's of the house:)





it's all a give and take...





one piece of advice, keep the kids seperate to begin with, don't expect, or even ask him to do something for the kids in the begining... that'll help keep em longer i think...
Reply:Please don't say that women without kids and women with kids aren't different. We are. We expect more.
Reply:ok
Reply:Sassy,





There are plenty of men who do not freak out when they hear that the lady they wish to date have children. I think it comes with the level of maturity and self confidance the particular man has. Just know that men who are not scared by the so called "Ready made family" do exist.
Reply:You're a young woman and they are young men. The majority have only sex on their minds. It's the way of the world, honey. So go about your business and enjoy your life. Before you know it you'll meet someone who respects you and loves your kids. You're just looking too hard right now and that makes you seem desperate. Godloveya.
Reply:I'm in the same boat - single mom with one child. Between school activities and long work hours, I don't get a lot of time to go out and meet guys in the first place. I always wonder when the best time is to tell the guy about my daughter. I usually wait until I feel like the relationship looks like it might be heading in a serious direction.


If he knows about your kids and then uses them as an excuse to end the relationship, I doubt he's telling the truth. He probably just doesn't want to be in the relationship. Or maybe he didn't realize how much work it would be to date a single mom, in which case you've made him think twice about doing that to someone else.


Hang in there - there's good ones out there...at least that's what they tell me.
Reply:i had a similar experience with a single mom(one night stand), but i knew the baby dady, he used to be my friend, and the mom didn't understand my need for a one night stand... she hates me now, but he only reason i didn't go back, was for one i felt weird doing that, and he found out and wants to kill me, so whatever, but if you got a mean baby daddy that might be one reason, and another guys dont wanna settle down, they have kids and settle down or leave, i wish u well
Reply:Most Men are immature and are not ready to take on the responsibility and some men just don't want to deal with the baby daddy drama. But, yes there are men out there who are not afraid of an already made family i found one and so will you. Try going to some type of singles club or meetings their are also single fathers out there with kids.
Reply:Some men are opposed to "ready made families" because the father of these kids is usually an ****** who makes their lives a living hell OR the kids misbehave because they haven't been made to act right. Then there are some guys who just want a woman who can take off at a moment's notice without having to worry about who'll watch the kids. Then... there are decent guys who'll love you no matter what.
Reply:They are out there, don't give up.
Reply:I am a single mom and I can tell you there ARE guys out there that will accept your children. If they don't want to accept your kids, they aren't for you anyway. I don't know how old you are but most of the time a guy a bit older than you will be more willing to accept your ready made family. My boyfriend is nine years older than me and it is great. Guys my own age aren't ready for the life I have to live.
Reply:RESPONSIBILITY is hard to accept for some men.

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