Single Mum With Two Kids..?

Can someone please reassure me that there are decent, sane, good looking men who would be willing to take on a decent, sane, good looking single mum with two children?





I've recently come out of an unpleasant relationship, and although the last thing i want is a new partner, i keep getting niggles in the back of my head that says no one will want to take me on, EVER.





i've never been married, or with someone who loves me for me or who would never consider going elsewhere, and these are things i hope for one day - but i'm wondering with two kids, whether the decent men would pass me by in favour of a single girl.





i work, and don't need someone to support me, so is it fair to say i could be ideal for someone? my self esteem is so low and i feel i'll be on the shelf forever! i don't want to have to settle for less of a man because of my situation, but feel i'll have to.





any positive stories would help x

Single Mum With Two Kids..?
NatNat I was a lone parent for 10 years; I dated but didn’t want anything serious. I met a guy two years ago who is thoughtful caring and there for me. Don’t get me wrong it’s hard at times as after 10 years doing it all alone it’s hard to let go.





You will meet the right guy, I can’t promise it will be whilst your children are young but don’t settle for second best. You are doing a brilliant job working and raising two children on your own and deserve the very best.





My advice would be have fun get out with your friends and believe in yourself.
Reply:Hey, calm down, there is hope. Do not despair. You are the norm in many degrees...single mom. Well, try a single dad, with three kids... and I found someoone. Bottom line, confidence comes form within. You are worth it, so project that. Take time for yourself once a week or two weeks...hair, nails, massage etc. Take time for kids, special time. The little voice is fear. Take charge of your life, be confident, plan as if no one is coming and perhaps, he will appear. Also, with limited time, I used the internet and dating sites to help me choose. Time was a luxury I did not have. Hope this helps.
Reply:As a single father with two kids I can sympathize. There are "a few good men" out there for you. You just need to be patient.
Reply:watch out for the child molesters~ they pray on single mothers with young kids! be careful!
Reply:Hi, if you feel you can confide in me great...I am happy and willing to accept you as you are with the kids...No strings attached....I promise you my unconditional support and guidance to help you emerge a stronger person. Though I have not seen you in person I accept you as you are...I accept you with all my heart....I believe in action and not just words..From this moment you are my best friend and I will help you in every way morally supporting you...cheers
Reply:i felt the same when i got divorced i had 2 kids at time now im with a great guy been with him for 6yr and have 3 kids now, dont worry the right guy will come along
Reply:Oh, I was in your shoes a while back. I had two daughters and got pregnant for a third time... and my first husband said if I didn't get an abortion (because *HE* "wasn't ready" for another kid!) - that he'd leave and divorce.





Well, after he left, there I was - two kids, pregnant, and I started dating a guy who has since become my second hubby. He took on the role of husband/provider/daddy with RELISH... and when the baby was born, *HE* (#2) was the one in the delivery room with me!





Our son calls #2 "daddy", as this is the only dad he's ever known. I feel the same. #1 was nothing more than a sperm donor, and did me a FAVOR the day he left. We are looking forward to many more years together... and our son will be 11 years old this month!
Reply:I'm in the States, but I can say that I found a couple decent men (I had 2 small children) and they took good care of me.





I married one of the men, and have been married for 20 years to him, now..





If you go to the park, or other family places, you may find the man of your dreams playing with his little girl..... Matches made in Heaven come from opening up your mind and not looking for something...





You are a good lady to have 2 children and take care of them properly by working instead of depending on the government to carry you... That is a wonderful trait, and you are so smart to do it.





Good luck with your adventure into mommy-hood and good luck with that man thing too...





I've been trying to tell my 26 year old daughter that she does not NEED a man..... She thinks it is a necessity.
Reply:I'm sorry but I have no experience in this subject. What I will say though, is wait. God has someone for everyone. And in due time, he'll come to you. But there is someone out there. Be patient.
Reply:my daughter is single with a child of 5 years.she separated from the father of her child.she has recently met someone who is very good to both of them.he has bought a house,taken them on holiday etc.he is the best thing for my daughter and granddaughter.she is now expecting another child in April.


good luck


Didi
Reply:yeh- just keep being true to yourself and remember what it is that you really would desire in a guy in case that may become an option and never try and sell yourself short for anyone ok


you're beautiful just for you and your kids!
Reply:I dont think all men go for women who haven't given brith before so take you time and the right guy will come.
Reply:I think there are good decent men out there. My dad is one but he's taken. Maybe you just need some time to find that right man. Don't try and rush into anything. And I would not recommend dating websites. Let everything happen naturally.
Reply:When my daughter was born, she is now 9 yrs old...I swore off dating til she was 5 yrs old, i wanted to just concertrate on being a great mother to her...then i met my fiancee who i have been with now for 4 years and we now have a 21 month old son so hang in there...there are good guys that love kids and will be open to kids that are not theirs and please do not settle for anything less. My friend got divorced and had 3 girls all under the age of 8 years old and met a fine gentleman, they are married now and have 2 more kids so it does and will happen for you. Just don't settle and you are doing a great job working and caring for your child alone!!! Bravo to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:ive been a single mom, and trust me that there are definalty guys out there that love kids even if they are not their own. The only guys that will give up a good relationship becuase there are kids are the ones that are young and not mature enough to handle it. Dont worry, there is someone for everyone, even your kids. I found mine, and he is great, he is good for the daughter that isnt biologily his, but calls his own and we now have one together. You are not alone in the way you feel, cause i have been there, but there is hope. Hang in there, and DONT settle for less than you and your kids deserve
Reply:I'm sure that there are plenty of decent guys out there who are looking for someone just like you.





Think about guys who are single fathers in the same boat as you - or guys who always wanted a family but either never got round to it or can't have children.





Don't let past experiences get you down. Think about what you've learnt from each past relationship - whether that be warning signs to look out for, what you like in a man, what you dislike or even things you've learnt about yourself. Then let you past go. Start a clean slate.





Join an internet site and state that you have children. Let the suitable men come to you - rather than meeting a guy and having to worry about when to mention your children. Internet dating is no longer seen as a 'sad' thing to do - what could be better than window shopping for guys?! I met my current boyfriend online when I was 19. I'm now 23 and we are still going strong. I put that down to the fact that meeting online allowed us to assess what we were both looking for. If I'd met someone randomly, we may not have lasted as long.





Give it a whirl - what have you got to lose?





xx Emmie
Reply:hey, although that answer about child molesters could be quite right, it's not very positive!!! and i thought i'd offer you something more positive!





There are thousands of single mums who find true love and settle down with a new partner, not all of them are fantastic happy ever after stories, but many, many are..





It is up to you as to how this will happen, you mustn't lower your standards simply to find a man, don't go for someone unless you really like them and think they are good enough for you and your kids,





You have to, HAVE to address your low self esteem, i went out with a guy who was terrible for myself esteem and throughout that whole period of my life i always met and befriended rubbish people...





when i left him and gained back my self esteem and when i wasn't even looking, i found the most amazing guy in the world and three years later i'm still head over heels in love and he is still as caring and wonderful..





the truth is, if you are happy you will make a happy relationship, if you are not you will most likely end up not finding a happy relationship.. this is for lots of reasons, for example if you appear needy you will probably end up finding someone who manipuates that neediness and preys on your weaknesses, i know thats pretty negative, but peope come together in these ways quite often. Equally you may find someone who genuinly want to help, you have to keep your wits about you!





If you work on your confindence and believe in yourself men will probably be lining up for you! Be clear and honest with them, you and the kids come first and hopefully you'll find a guy who likes you so much he is willing to take on a little more than he might if you were single...





there may be many understanding men out there who are single dads!!





Either way, remember that there are good, kind, honest, stable (and good looking!) guys out there, you just need to be in the right frame of mind and know yourself truly, don't settle for less..





Good luck!





If you want to increase your self esteem perhaps talk to someone about why it is low in the first place, pamper yourself, you sound like you deserve it!
Reply:Yes, there are men who are willing to take you on. I've seen it with my mom who has introduced me and my younger sister to a boyfriend of hers. He's just perfect for her and doesn't at all mind us two kids. In fact, we love this guy just as much as he loves us. If it worked out for her then it can definitely work out for you. Good luck. :)
Reply:when i met my girlfriend she was a single mother with three kids , i also had one kid and was divorced, we have been together 15 years now and are still very happy together, she is also not well and is unable to have sex any more because of her health( its been 2 years since we did it ) but i love her for her and am still happy with her, sex is not the nost important thing in the world although some would dissagree, i would never leave her because of the no sex bit, it doesnt bother me, she is a good person as i am sure you are too so dont worry and let it get you down, you will find a good man when the time is right
Reply:Don't worry someone will find you! When you least expect. Honestly you sound very sweet, don't be dismayed. It will happen. There are men out there that would like a girl who has settled down but still knows what it's like to have a good time.
Reply:Hi there. Your story is so the same as mine its quite scary! I have been in an oppressive (not violent just mentally head wrecking) relationship for the last 2 years. I was basically with him because i was terrified of being a single mum of two, like yourself. About 2 months ago i met somebody by accident and he completely swept me off my feet. He is genuinely the most caring, understanding wonderful man i've ever met. He adores me and my kids and i have no fear whatsoever of him ever cheating or hurting me in any way. He is also gorgeous. fun, generous and pretty much perfect for me. Yesterday everything came to a head with my relationship and i finally put an end to it. I've decided to be with my new chap straight away but theres absolutely no reason why you cant be a stong independant woman for a while. Concentrate on you and your kids for a while and when the right one comes along you'll never look back. Someone used to tell me "dont look for love, love will find you" and i can honestly say it's true. Enjoy being yourself for a while and when a man see's you being comfortable with who you are, he in turn will be comfortable with who you are! Trust me you will be ok, I never in a million years thought i could be, or even deserved to be happy. But we all can be.