Does the meaning of being single change with age?

I have been single for a while...forever actually. V-day is back but I already have my valentine... a couple of weeks ago my department voted me tenure and ah yes! I am a professor ... a real one! Now that I am taking stock of my life... it is impossible not to think about being single ...even at 36... and I am starting to feel I don't mind very much any more. When I was in my 20's I was always scared about my being perennially single and as far as I can see, my fears were not unjustified. And I have suffered through periods of intense loneliness and wondering what is wrong with me No one who knows me will ever call me shy!!! At 36, do you think the worst is behind me? Since at the moment, I am thinking about my single status ... but i dont really mind; do you think this will last? Will I be lonely again once I am old and infirm and have to retire? Is there such a thing as single and happy in old age?

Does the meaning of being single change with age?
I got married at 22 because I was afraid I would be an "old maid" and all my friends were doing. My marriage was a disaster. I divorced after 5 years and lived as a single mother raising two children. In my 40's I gave up believing I would live the "normal" life as one half of a couple. I let go of the stress and fear of being alone. I realized that as long as I liked my own company I wasn't really ever alone anyway. Then in my 49th year the man I would have dreamed about (if I were a dreamer) came into my life. I married him at 50 and we have been together for 5 years. I can't imagine life without him now. So I guess John Lennon was right when he said, "Life is what happens while you're making other plans". At 36 you are still a very young and their is nothing that says you will be alone when you die. If I were you I would just take one day at a time and enjoy every moment, and let tomorrow take care of itself.
Reply:Hey, i'm 37, and single. it seems that there are more important things in life now than having someone there. I think the loneliness goes away with time. When we're in our 20's we're in the prime age for starting a family, hence, our hormones, society, mentality, etc. call for us humans to want to "start our nest" find a mate, reproduce, etc.





Now that we're in our 30's it's not as important. So I think we're past that phase. We will still have periods of loneliness, but they seem to pass quicker than they did before and I'm at a point where I enjoy my time alone, not having someone there to irritate me, nag me, scold me, be jealous, etc. etc. etc. I can leave my socks on the carpet all week if I want to, drink out of the jug, leave the toilet seat up, no one says peep! I'm actually enjoying it. I think you should too. they say that once you're truly happy with yourself, thus being yourself, your soulmate will be attracted to you... so i'm keeping my door shut! enjoy life, travel now, settle down later. I've done more with my life now than I have when i've been with someone.
Reply:All I can say is that everyone is different.


I figured I'd die alone (and hopefully old, but not too old) then I met a person that is more wonderful than I deserve and never could have imagined I would meet.


If you decide that your priority is to meet someone then you need to decide what that person is like and expose yourself to situations where you may meet that person. Unless you desire children there's no reason to rush into the wrong relationship. Make a plan and execute it with persistence and patience.


I married in 2003 at 42y.o.. My wife is one year younger.


As an aside, when I was 40 I went to a wedding and sat at the table with many of the more "fun" people who were single. One pessimistic girl remarked that we were all destined to be single forever. Later I realized the the girl getting married would have been at our table in previous years and seemed unlikely to ever get married. She didn't even date! She's still happily married but I can't say what happened to my other table mates.

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